numb

to my own reflection i said " i will be strong ."

but i'm tired of acting all okay . . like i'm fine . . toilet is my best buddy now . . at least , i don't have to pretend . . crying my heart out . . and the tissues will be there . . water to wash up . . and the reflection in the mirror . . will be there to encourage me . . then , clearing up the mess , i'll step outside all smiling again . . i can't take this anymore . .

pretty smiles and make up . been hiding so much these days . . i told myself i could do it too . . but everything that i do , every thoughts that i ran through , reminds me of you . everytime i suffered , i would think of telling you as soon as possible . then , i realise you weren't there for me anymore . . so used to , telling my friends " my boyfriend always says , my boyfriend and i ," you're always teaching me , telling me how harsh the world would be . . reality . . and now ? this hurting truth you thrown at me . . and saying that i can do it ?? you had already grew roots in me . so deep , it hurts so much when you yanked it out . . all sudden . .

numbing the pain for a while only makes it worse when i finally feels it . .

all the best love stories have one thing in common . you have to go against all odds to get there . this is only the very first problem ever in our relationship . and we couldn't even make it through this first test . .

love doesn't walk away darling , people do . and you chose it .

these break up songs make sense again and i wish they really didn't .