unconscious

i reach home from hospital today . i saw this hamster cage abandoned at the rubbish chute . . i don't know why , i approached it . i pulled the plastic aside to see all the hamsters dead . . i was suddenly so overwhelmed with sadness i started to broke into tears . . i really don't know why . . it was just so sad . . i would have taken them home if . . if they weren't . . dead . .

i think about it when i was showering . . i can't get it off my mind . . it's . . it's just so mean . . so hurtful . . i guess i'm really not ready for the world yet . . really . . i'll just hide under my blanket . . and sob all day . .

then it came to me why . . he used to have hamsters that he couldn't manage and left them at the rubbish chute too . . back then he refused to let me keep them . . he hoped that some one would take and look after them . .

unconsciously , i'm thinking about you too . .
there's just too much of OUR memories . .